May, 2020

What to do if you’re stood up

The excitement of a date can be exciting. But what if your date doesn’t show?

Dating isn’t easy and being stood up on a date can create some negative reactions and emotions. Before your manners fly out the window in favor of rage and embarrassment, check out these tips for how to properly handle being stood up.

Keep your cool

You spent all day thinking about your date, from the clothes to the conversation. You find yourself waiting at the restaurant for 10 minutes, then 20…then 30! You check your phone and email – nothing. As much as you wished it wasn’t so, you realize you’ve been stood up. So do you stay at the bar, get drunk and rant about the no-show to anyone who will listen? No! You play it cool.

Firstly, you’re not the first person to be stood up, and you won’t be the last. This may even happen again some way or another. Did you waste your time on an individual that does not have the basic manners to call and cancel? Absolutely! However, this is where your emotional rollercoaster should end. Stay at the restaurant, but instead of drinking Crown and Coke alone, call a friend to meet you. Heck, call two or three of them. Don’t waste your night out on someone that didn’t show – order a delicious meal and enjoy the good company. If your deadbeat date does all back to apologize, tell them it’s okay – you had a great time without them.

Don’t blow up their phone

Whether it’s a date or just meeting up with a friend, whenever someone is late, we always call them to make sure everything is okay. This is the digital age, when smartphones and email rule all, so there is no excuse why someone can’t get in touch with you (unless they’re stuck underground).

Once you realize that you’re on the verge of being stood up, you call and leave a message. Your first call is always friendly, second will be concerned, third might be annoyed, etc. After about 45 minutes you’ve called five times and it’s clear that your date isn’t showing up. Instead of getting angry, follow this rule: Call once after 15 minutes of waiting. If you feel inclined to call again, leave a message like: “Hey [name of your date], I thought we were supposed to meet at the restaurant at 8 pm. I’m guessing you got held up. Don’t worry, it’s cool. Hope everything is okay. Call me another time to reschedule, have a good night.” What you’re doing is giving them the chance to explain when (if) they call you back.

Leave it to the other person to make the next move

When your date doesn’t show, don’t make the next move. Instead, let him or her explain what happened. If you hear zilch from the date, it’s now safe to assume you never will. So it’s time to delete his/her number, erase all emails, do the typical breakup-without-a-real-breakup thing. Get rid of all evidence of their existence.


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