We asked couples who have been married for at least 50 years for any words of advice they could give younger couples on marriage. Translated.
“Don’t get a divorce”
“You have the option of a love marriage. We did not. So be very careful with your choice.”
“The more quiet you are, the less your wife will scold you”
When you fight you will say hurtful things. These things can never be forgotten. The next morning you will always regret saying these things. The next morning, you will wake up not angry with them anymore but the things can never be unsaid. So when you are fighting, try to put yourself in the mind of the “you” you will be come next morning. Always act like it’s the next morning. My husband and I have been doing this for 30 years.
“If you act like your husband’s servant, he will treat you like his servant”
“Every day I see our people doing seyva for their community, for their elders, for everyone but their spouses. The secret to my marriage is I do seyva for my wife every day.
“I think if I did not drink alcohol, I could give my wife the perfect marriage. But I can’t do it. My demons will eat up the best parts of me. And my wife has to suffer. My marriage advice: please don’t drink alcohol.
Talk to your spouse like they are poetry. Fight with them like they are poetry.
While you are young, do fun things with your spouse. Do crazy things. Do stupid things. Do beautiful things. When you are old, it will be these memories you get to remember.