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Dealing With Pushy Grandparents

Dealing With Pushy Grandparents

Grandparents love doling out unsolicited advice — and not all of it is bad (really). But here’s what to do when their constant suggestions start to get on your nerves.

Remember, they mean well

When your parents are offering advice on how to care for your little one, it’s easy to hear, “You don’t know what you’re doing!” or “You’re doing that wrong!” instead of realizing that they’re just trying to be helpful, says Jill Spiegel, author of How to Talk to Anyone About Anything.

“It’s normal for new parents to go on the defensive when they’re offered advice, but what your parents are really saying is, ‘I want to feel helpful,’ “ explains Spiegel. She also points out that it is a parent’s nature to come to their child’s aid, so if your mom sees you struggling with getting your baby to nap or making your toddler eat his veggies, it’s an instinct to offer some assistance.

Cheryl Wu, M.D., a Manhattan-based pediatrician, agrees. “Grandparents tend to have two things on their side: one, they’re our parents and two, we’re still alive — meaning, they probably knew a thing or two about raising kids.

So that makes it hard to argue with them. The best thing we can remember is that the grandparents really do mean well and want to make sure that their grandchildren are cared for in the most proper way (in their minds).”

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