September, 2023

Are You Unhappy? I Might Know Why

Dala Lama was once asked, “What surprises you the most about humanity?” He responded,“Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health.”

When I first saw that quote, it really resonated deeply within my heart. I thought to myself “Isn’t this what everyone is struggling with? Why are we doing this to ourselves? We burn away our greatest asset in exchange for money and success. On top of that, we spend most of our time away from the things that matter the most to us. Where do we draw the line? How do we find the so-called ‘balance?’”

When people talk about balance, the first misconception is they feel they should divide up their time evenly and evenly distributing them into different aspects of our lives. However, a healthy balance all starts with taking good care of yourself first. Yes, you heard me right. Take care of yourself first before you take care of anyone or anything else.

It is only then, you have the energy and clarity to devote one hundred percent to all the things you do. Otherwise you will be stretched out too thin and end up not satisfying anything at all. Prioritize time to go exercise, time to read, time to be alone, prioritize time for activities that could recharge your soul.

When you are at your best, people get the best of you. When you are not at your best, people can also feed off your negative energy. It is that simple.

I have a friend who is 25 years old and she is a very successful financial advisor. Her typical work week is about 50-60 hours a week.  Though she achieved massive success and received numerous awards for her performance, she felt empty.

During her 2 years career life, she gained weight, feet tired all the time and, most importantly, she has no energy or mood for her family and friends. No matter how hard she tried to stretch herself to keep giving, she was not happy.

She told me that sometimes she felt like a “walking dead” and she always found herself sitting at her work desk zoning out and thinking “what is my real purpose in life?” What is important to me? What are the things that make me happy? What are the things that I would regret not doing if I was not here tomorrow? 

Lately, she took on my advice to prioritize what is important to her.

She started going to the gym consistently, eating healthy everyday, investing time into self development, working on herself, and also spending more alone time instead of giving to everyone.

After a week of just different routines, she felt significantly happier and more fulfilled. She started to find little things in life to appreciate and she even had a brighter smile. Her coworkers were all curious about the change. She also told me that she might consider switching field to do something that aligns with her passion.

This is the result of prioritizing what is important to her and taking care of herself foremost.

Sometimes in our hectic lives we all get lost and get caught up in the fog. I want to challenge you all to have the courage to press the pause button and take a step back and ask ourselves the three big questions my friend asked herself. 

-What is important to me?

-What are the things that make me happy?

-What are the things that I would regret not doing if I am not here tomorrow?

Find the answers to those questions then prioritize them and plan your life around that.

You will be amazed how quickly things start to fall into the right places and you will literally see your life change right in front of your eyes.

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